I am currently in the ancient, extremely historical, and relatively quiet city (population 250,000) of Novgorod. Not much happens in Novgorod...until now.
The opening of the first McDonalds in Novgorod happened just last week right before the new year. This is probably the most important event in the history of the city since Alexander Nevsky himself defeated the invading Swedes in the 13th century. It's a big deal.
To celebrate this most important of occasions my friend Roma and I went to McDonalds today for lunch. The line was ridiculous. Seeing as I am well-versed in the language of Russian McDonalds after having spent extensive time there in St. Petersburg, it unexpectedly became my duty to instruct the still uneducated peasants of Novgorod about McDonalds. For example, in St. Petersburg (and everywhere else in the Russian-speaking world with a population fluent in McDonalds), the slang term for this most divine of institutions is "McDak" (pronounced: Mac-Duck). So when I suggested to the people here in Novgorod that we go to "MacDak," I got some weird looks.
"Why did you just call McDonalds 'McDak'?"
Oh, they have so much to learn.
Luckily I explained it to them very quickly so they will now be "in the know" when they go out in public.
After we finally pushed our way through the line and got to the cashier I proceeded to make my order. In Russia-McDak language, an extra-value meal is called a "lunch" (pronounced in Russian as "obyed"). Normally in St. Petersburg I just say at the register that I want an "обед с Биг Маком" ('obyed' with a Big Mac) and they immediately understand. Their next question is always "Cola to drink?" and my answer is usually, "Cola Lite please." It works like clockwork. So here in Novgorod I gave my usual order and the girl behind the register just stared at me. "Um, we don't have 'lunch.'" I then pointed to the menu and explained that it meant I wanted a Big Mac, a medium fry, and a medium drink. She still looked confused.
Oh, they have so much to learn.
2 comments:
I want to go to Novgorod! D:> Dan, you must manage a summer trip back to Russia!
This is so funny!!! I laughed very loudly when I was reading this entry. Luckily, nobody was home. :)
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