Thursday, January 15, 2009

Things that happen to me when it is 30 below zero...

-my nostrils stick together when I inhale rapidly through my nose (quite enjoyable).
-My left eye starts this weird little twitch and I get momentarily scared that my contact is going to pop out.
-I let my mind get boggled by thinking too much about how it could possibly be 110 degrees warmer in LA than it is in Iowa right now
-I get asked questions about driving a car in anarctic-like temperatures that I have no idea how to answer
-my lower thighs (area right above the knee) start freezing to a point that it feels like they're burning
-When I leave my apartment in the morning with my hair still wet, I like reaching back and feeling the frozen curls that stick out under my beanie
-I wake up in the early morning and the first thought that pops into my head is "I don't want to go outside."
-The end of my nose starts tingling and I immediately become paranoid that it's frostbite
-I get the weird desire to stick my tongue to a metal pole...
-I have nothing to do at night other than sit at home and watch "House" because I can't muster the determination to open my front door and feel the instant chill.
-I give in and turn up the thermostat from 68 to 70.
-And finally, I get really rather sad when I think that this will probably be the only insanely cold Iowa winter that I'll get to endure

6 comments:

Der Orgelspieler said...

That's why I hate cold weather, although I love the whole "House" thing. I do similar things. Like listening to "Summer Tale" by Josef Suk and reading blogs!

Chris said...

I just don't think people should live anywhere where there is a hard winter. Aren't there are ton of uninhabited islands in the world? Can't we all just move everything there until certain states have kinder weather? Great post though--I felt it! Brrrrr!

Unknown said...

ugh, that sounds like hell. It was bad enough in P-town, I can't imagine how you people survive.

Tony said...

As Rarlos said, these temperatures made me think of the phrase: "Milwaukee is cold as hell...", which would probably be an oxymoron...

Lena said...

feel for you, Danny, i barely restrain tears when i'm frozen - and only to don't have some ice on my face.
thanks for this post, makes me smile ))

Theresa said...

Dan, if you ever have the urge to stick your tongue to a pole in subzero temps, DON'T DO IT!!!! I did it when I was nine and had a heck of a time yanking my tongue off the pole (and I was alone so I did have to do it myself!) *lol*